Wow! What a year this has been. A lot has happened. I'm sure some of you don't really know what I'm talking about so I will explain.
One year ago, I was going through the hardest time of my life. The person who I had been with for 2 years had started to get physically and emotionally abusive, we were on the verge of being homeless, I was getting ready to go to cosmetology school in January... Things were too much to bear. Then on November 22nd, I had enough of everything and broke down. Then I went to the bathroom, took 200 extra strength rapid release tylenol and about 60 famotadine(acid reliever) tablets. I told my boyfriend... not thinking he would do anything considering we had just had a huge fight and he was angry... plus he was at band practice... But about 30 minutes later, the paramedics came knocking on our hotel room door(Home sweet home for us at the time) I was so out of it, I don't remember much. I kept feeling myself going in and out of remembering and not remembering. I don't remember the ambulance ride. I don't remember that I had attempted to slice my wrists before the ambulance got there. I do remember the charcoal I had to take to get all the medicine out of my stomach. I do remember that I had to be on oxygen to have myself become "stabilized". I remember it was really late when I got to the place I would be staying for the next several days. And I remember the noise my stomach was making from the charcoal.
God saved my life that night. That's when I genuinely realized that God has an amazing plan for my life and He's not through with me yet.
God--- I thank you for this amazing life you have given me... Even with it's struggles, You have shown me to see through things and not just look at them. You are so faithful and Your plans are better than any human plan I could come up with. I thank you for the struggles of the past year. They have started to mold me into the woman you want me to be. I pray that I will never forget those moments of struggle and that you will use those moments to strengthen me and my faith. I love you Lord. I pray all of these things in your precious name. Amen.
8 days til my birthday! :)
Monday, November 22, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Bronchitis/Pneumonia adventure.
So for those faithful readers of this blog, I am sorry for my lack of posts. I was EXTREMELY sick for the past two weeks and I'm just now coming out of it.
It all started with this excruciating pain in my neck. I thought maybe I had slept in some odd position(which I have been known to do) But the next day, I woke up and went to work and it was painful to walk because I had pain in my back and my legs were extremely sore and tense. They sent me home early that day so I just kinda took it easy at home. The pain continued over the next several days and I was sleeping pretty much any chance I got. Then one morning, I had to be at work at 6am... But when I woke up, my chest felt very heavy, I was having chest pains and it was hard(and painful) to breathe. I called work at 5:30am and was given a load of crap by the manager on duty. I told her I needed to go to the Emergency room but she just wouldn't let it go. I ended up telling her I wasn't going to be there and she told me I needed to be more "responsible"... Okay ______, I will be more responsible. God--- From this day forward I need to know at least 2 hours in advance of work if I am gonna need to go to the ER. Amen. I understand that maybe I should've called earlier... But I was waiting to see if I could stick it out... then at 5am, it got really bad. So I woke my grandma up and had her take me to the ER. What a woman! :)
At the ER they told me I had bronchitis and pneumonia... gave me an antibiotic and a prescription for codeine to help me sleep. I believe I forgot to mention that I had been coughing A LOT the previous few nights. I missed the next several days of work... But now I'm back. I still hate my job now... maybe even more than I did before. I'm sick of getting pushed to my limits by people who don't like me for whatever reason. I'm sick of unprofessional managers. I'm sick of the guilt trips that I get when I tell them I can't stay later. I'm sick of crying at work everyday. I'm sick of it all. I need something better... School will be done soon enough I hope.
It all started with this excruciating pain in my neck. I thought maybe I had slept in some odd position(which I have been known to do) But the next day, I woke up and went to work and it was painful to walk because I had pain in my back and my legs were extremely sore and tense. They sent me home early that day so I just kinda took it easy at home. The pain continued over the next several days and I was sleeping pretty much any chance I got. Then one morning, I had to be at work at 6am... But when I woke up, my chest felt very heavy, I was having chest pains and it was hard(and painful) to breathe. I called work at 5:30am and was given a load of crap by the manager on duty. I told her I needed to go to the Emergency room but she just wouldn't let it go. I ended up telling her I wasn't going to be there and she told me I needed to be more "responsible"... Okay ______, I will be more responsible. God--- From this day forward I need to know at least 2 hours in advance of work if I am gonna need to go to the ER. Amen. I understand that maybe I should've called earlier... But I was waiting to see if I could stick it out... then at 5am, it got really bad. So I woke my grandma up and had her take me to the ER. What a woman! :)
At the ER they told me I had bronchitis and pneumonia... gave me an antibiotic and a prescription for codeine to help me sleep. I believe I forgot to mention that I had been coughing A LOT the previous few nights. I missed the next several days of work... But now I'm back. I still hate my job now... maybe even more than I did before. I'm sick of getting pushed to my limits by people who don't like me for whatever reason. I'm sick of unprofessional managers. I'm sick of the guilt trips that I get when I tell them I can't stay later. I'm sick of crying at work everyday. I'm sick of it all. I need something better... School will be done soon enough I hope.
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